Time it changes everything

Make Smile.

it has been a long while since i last updated this blog.

definitely alot has been going on in my life but this is no one wants their life to be THAT open for the world to read like a book.

everything at work was so hectic, shit luck at work. it came down to tendering my resignation or push through the obstacles, which of course came with some scarifices and shitty time from superiors and colleagues. in my industry you cant afford to slip. i've learnt my lesson. so i started to pay a lil bit more attention to my work and it is starting to pay off. of course im juggling between that and spending time with my boyfriend.

then at home, well.. not exactly heaven at first. went through the mini version of hell with mom and dad. so far it has settled down. have to win back their trust. not really sure what they want from me till now. but i'll make do with what i THINK they expect of me.sigh. growing up is such a pain in the neck. i had huge fights with my parents, screaming slapping, i almost ran away from home.

a few surprises in the matters of the heart. time really changes everything. if you sit down and really think about what matters to you, you wont find much. it's how much value other people place on a certain position, thing or incident that makes us worry about the things we do.

ive come to care about you more than i thought i would. i did try to forget you but you're THAT significant that i just cannot. when i rest i will be thinking of you, when i sleep i will be dreaming of you. you're that someone whom i cant wait to see everyday and spend every single minute of my day with. please do not mistake my naiveness for obliviousness. i know what is it that people say, i know what it really is but i chose to trust you and trust you i will. believing in you despite what i hear. innocent until proven guilty. despite everything, you're still here with me, you hold me when i cry, you make smile. you're someone i can lean on, someone i'd trust my life with, except in the open sea. =) i hope that one day you can think of me that way, you can trust me that much.

Quick to give, Slow to take. Wasnt so pleasant, wasnt a mistake.

When You are down, Grab a Girlfriend & Fly HIGH!!

Khad On SkyRide Irmalia On Skyride

The Test
This was the story that i was telling u about. Quick to give, i dont care if i lose a lot. so long as u are happy.. its all material and im not really material. after all whatever we have in this world, will just be with us until our last breath after which all possessions wud belong to others who are left behind.
At my death bed, what i really want, is to remember that i had a good life, that i make people smile, i make people laug. That smile that you give, is the memory i will bring to my grave.
When i lie, it will be because i do not want to hurt you, it will be because i'm protecting you from the nasty reality and i will be trying to fix the situation while i keep you smiling. Until things get better, for both you and i. What you dont know, wont hurt you and i definitely do not wish to hurt you. ....Truly.


The Recovery
then came a point of time i had to leave. i cannot hold not to something that isn't mine. so as usual, i'll be the girl with the broken smile. walking around with the plastered happiness that hides a broken heart lined with sorrow.
So while i spend my nights alone, trying to bounce back from this fall, i realized, i cannot lose something that was not mine in the first place. it was all so ironic. the more i thought about it, the funnier it becomes.
An aching heart that is trying to laugh and pretend it is ok. it hurts even more that way. did u know that? i bet you didnt. I got a friend to help me recover from this. someone whom i know will NEVER cheat, will NEVER lie to me, who will NEVER hurt me knowingly. That friend who will not say things to bring me down intentionally. Irmalia Ismail.

GET REAL!!

"the truth is, Irmalia & Khad, we compliment each other very well.

She carries the umbrella, i'll carry the camera. =)"

Malia is the soft looking one, who has got a head-strong attitude and doesnt forgve easily.

Khad is the tough looking one, who is soft inside, forgives easily, gets hurt easily

but no matter how hard Khad falls or how angry Malia gets, I will be there for her, and in turn, Malia is with me every step of the way. She is the negative side of the battery with her anger and me? Im the plus sign on the other side. Together... we work pretty well. We really do. tell the world not to come in between. there isnt any space left.

So ok.. until here then. Until later..

Ps: i told u the climax will give me a plunge i will never forget.

Khad

Salut!

hello again.. been eons since i last visited or posted an entry. almost forgot about this darn blog

1- life. has been a rollercoaster ride. which is excellent and exactly the way i like it.

keeps me entertained and the adrenaline rush. wow. u cant possibly imagine it. climax period has been almost the entire of april. but trust me the plunge into abyss will come soon. i know it will. so towards this end im just preparing and bracing myself for it. so while it lasts ladies and gentleman, im gonna make it worth while.

"this is springtime of my youth. and someday when im older, i will have stories to share at the rehab center with all my friends."

2- love. its been like that, will stay like that. i will not change a thing about it, its something permanent. its a global issue ladies and gentleman.

3- work sucks. althou im on leave right now. i dread going back to work. but so far it has been tolerable. the work environment is. i need to brush up and pay attention to my work a bit more i guess. i can do it and i will.

4- current updates on me?

HAVENT I BEEN TELLING YOU?? lol. planning a HAWKSTARZ reunion on 2nd May 6pm.

ciao! see ya when i see ya!

Khad.