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you left, again and there is absolutely nothing i can can do.
but to stare at night skies and wonder.
wonder is this is the end for us. the end of us.
day by day we drift further apart.far apart.
you keep running off, i keep running after.after you.
it's cold , painful and lonely without you.very cold.
like all life has been taken away.there is no point.

why cant we be like before?loving and loved.
have you found another?or are you tired of me?
this time i wont cry.my resilience will take me thru.
i'll run thru sonatra like i did.like i did before.
sonatra cannot stop me from living.neither can you.
kathy died for a reason. kat's birth was a mistake.
nevertheless i dont regret.not in my vocabulary.
i'll overcome everything that stands between us.everything.
even anyone, even sonatra, even time. even you
time has taken sonatra into it's clutches.tightly.
sonatra embraces me.i try running away.
trapped in a world, not mine but none.different world.
everything is blank.everything is spinning so fast.
i lost.lost control of myself, lost control of you.lost you.
you are spinning away from me.drifting away like before.
like always.i'll run in circles after you.i always do.

life wasnt a symbol of light until you came.
you shone like a star and twinkled like a diamond.
now i losy that star, gone is that diamond.
lost all, lost you, lost again, lost in sonatra.

"sonatra creeps thru like a fog.engulfing me in my own fears, drowning me in my own tears."

exams & computers

hello..finally able to enter new posts online again...but guess what? I just formatted my stupid computer! it was running to slow with jams here and there.. i had to do it..it's ok now but my PICTURES are GONE!! gone with the wind.. was studying 1033 jus now.. more to cover then i tot.. i havent even started on 1027.. but i will..lol.. ok see ya soon

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Stupid tuesday is here. im in the computer lab with stupid jason on my left. lessons are over and im going home soon. tot i'd drop by and fill in my blog. so here it goes. we had sociology 1st then clinical lab session.. damn..i owe a stupid person a treat at swenson.. well anyway.. he deserved it. anyway..im like super disgusted. dun ask me who.. u should know.. im not going to say..i dont want to get in to trouble right now...ok? anyway.. i changed my blog templates and song..YEah!! Finally..been trying to upload the bloody song since forever..! Thank god! anyway.. fasting for almost a week now.. so far so good. if it wasnt been for that stupid person...i would have a perfect fast...WITHOUT VULGARITIES!!!! really...some pple are just URGH i dunno wad!! hey hey hey i heard this frm dr param.. he said.. pple who fast..live longer life!! thank god.. i knew VIRGINS dun die early!! hehehe! Justice league is officially up..haha..i know it sounds stupid but we do have a couple of stupid pple in it..so it makes sense..anyway.. i gtg kill pple now..so..Tata..
Adios Amigo!

Fridayz..Like Never Before

This has got to be the worst friday i have ever experienced. First of all. i beagn my day with sociology presentation. lessons end at 1900 today, the lessons are all boring, i m sleepy, i wanna go home...does it look good or what?NOT!! Urgh! it's disgusting. i have never hated friday like this before! it's horrid! it's despicable!!! ITS DETESTABLE~!!!

there is no way this day could get any worse could it? well well well...school is damn boring. thank god there's food and friends[most of them]. the presentation went well..fido wasnt ard..diarrhoea...lol maybe ila pinched a lil too hard...he started to auscaltate everything out thru his ass.. anyway..get well soon.

" The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

Moonlight Sonatra Speaks

an empty space, an empty mind.
you get scared, terrified u panic.
fear embraces you, choking you.
defensive, you run.
you keep running, as fast as you can.
scared you run, as fast as your legs could carry you.

you cry you run into an empty space,
with absolutely nowhere to go.
with no idea what you are running from
into an empty space you wander.
everywhere bland and white.
everything is dead, everything except you
but then u realize, that you are the only thing there.
you dont even know where you are
why you ended up where you are
how you even got there.

then you remember it all
the same sorrow, misery and foreboding torture
enveloping you once agin, tightenning your mind and soul
the heart cramps, wrenched into a wadded paper.
you stand still, you freeze.

you stood still whilst the world spun.
the world spinning madly against you
what did u ever do wrong? what have u done?
u are so confused, dazed and dizzy
the world was spinning wild
faster than you could ever imagine
faster than anything else
everyinch of you was tearing apart.
death seems such a delightful option.

you start running, faster than ever before,
you faster into the bland white space
no shadows, no reflection, no water, no food
jus white, white, white light and you
you cry tears flowing without a reason
without sorrows, without misery of any known, you cry.
you dont understand anything at all.

what am i running from?
where am i running to?
whay am i running away?
how much longer can i run?

unanswered and stil running. from nothing
bland white, you sweat in panic, your body weakens.
you run still not knowing how much longer can you last.
cry, run, for your survival. but against what?

you cry for help, but there's none but you.
you scream, lungs at the verge of explosion.
you scream, in silence. heard by none. bcos there is none. not even you shadows
the pain was horrid but you still kept going
pain was excruciating. never ending
you remember your mistakes, the pain you've caused.
the pple u've hurt and used.
the hearts you have broken, the people you have wronged.
greater pain as you recall. be it if u die
you hoped they'd forgive you. you understand their cries.
their fears, misery, torture, misfortune.
you wished you could have helped.
sonatra in the moonlight, you wished no one else would have to go thru
the pain you are feeling right now.
never. because it is too cruel for any man to take.
everything dims, you awake, scared.Never.