i have no idea what i'm living for!
u see sometimes i think and i wonder about what the hell im doing on earth. i cry for no reason sometimes. i know it's stupid. well maybe im stupid. i dunno. at times im happy and the next moment im burying my head in my hands and weeping my eyes out. perhaps im going crazy. or maybe im olredy crazy. *sighz* i cant seem to keep track of anything right now and i know i am happier on my own but it's just that i'm not used to be on my own. what happened to the old me? what happened to good ol' bitchy khad? im a damn good actress and this is my play. everyone else is my puppet. if everything was alright, i'd be happy. then again, i dont know what im not happy about in the first place. serious? tell me about it. i jus wanna sit down and just talk to myself but im not able to do that you know why? becos everybody thinks khad/kat is happy. thinks that kat/khad doesnt care. that im strong and that i can do it on my own. well YOU ARE SO DEAD WRONG! im the weakest person you can ever meet. it's just an act this bravery. inside actually im very weak. VERY WEAK. i cry alot. im miserable. but i dont want anyone to know. if u think you know me...YOU ARE SO WRONG. SO WRONG. there isnt a person on this face of the earth that i have been honest to about how i feel and what i'm thinking of. NO ONE. Not as long as you are human or breathing or alive. NOPE.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Life's confusion led KAT to killed KATHY.
Kathy died for a reason.
kit’s birth was a mistake.
the two never could co-exist.
the truth is, Kat killed Kathy.
the story goes like so..
everyone loved Kathy because she loves everyone.
she falls in love, she falls out of love.
she gets hurt, she cries then she loves again.
she loved all her friends and always wanted them to smile.
Kathy became a toy to all her friends.
she listened to all of them.
got into trouble for them and she still loved them.
Kat’s birth was a mistake in the first place.
one that never should have taken place.
a deceit. a lie. a despicable lie.
but this mistake had a purpose in life.
she hated all that had to do with love.
Kat perceived love to a weakening factor.
something which takes away someone's will.
love deprives one the strength and determination.
that was what Kat perceived love to be.
that was why Kat hated Kathy.
Kat thought Kathy was weak. she did.
Kathy was always crying about love.
worrying about love. being happy about love.
happy about something that was going to make her cry.
Kat thought Kathy was stupid. she did.
falling in and out of love. day in day out.
always in search of something that will break her.
one fine day, Kathy fell in love. deeply in love.
she was happy for quite awhile.
Kat thought she'd give up the chase and let Kathy settle down.
so Kat left. feeling some what dissatisfied. she doesn’t know why.
Kat left miserable. because she has lost her direction. she did.
now that Kathy was settled, Kat gave up.
another fine day Kathy jus had to fall. she did.
Kathy fell out of love. seriously broken.
Kathy cried and broke. she did.
she was so weak she could hardly stand.
she cried so much she could hardly breathe.
she was so tired she could hardly sleep.
Kat didn’t leave Kathy to settle only to see her get hurt again.
Kat got angry. she got very angry.
why did Kathy have to have a heartbreak?
it made life difficult for herself. it did.
Kat couldn’t stand weaklings so she despise Kathy.
so much that it caused a rage within her.
so much that it burns her black when she sees Kathy.
so much anger did she have for Kathy. she did.
storm brew within Kat. a war broke out too.
she got so confused she was infuriated.
Kat was infuriated beyond imagination.
glasses smashed with burning rage.
arson bleached and engulfed Kat’s mind.
she cannot distinguish right from wrong.
Kat fled to a wilted Kathy. she did.
not a moment to lose. Kathy was dead in a matter of seconds.
she lay in a pool of blood. Kathy did.
Kat’s hand was stained with Kathy’s blood.
all over. Kat sat down pondering and smiling.
it was all over. Kathy was dead. no more tears.
hahaha. an evil crackle rang in Kat’s head.
I’m in control. Kathy is dead. she died for a reason.
a reason only she and Kat knew.
a secret which only the two of them knew.
a shared past now that Kathy is dead.
now that Kathy is dead, Kat will be Kathy.
Kat is Kat, but she will take Kathy’s place.
Kat will take Kathy’s place with her own twist.
Kathy died for a reason which only Kat knows,
Kat’s birth was a mistake which only Kathy understands.
do you?
Prof.Khad.MBBS.PhD.
University of PsychoSadisticism.
Gorham City
Copyright of Cat-Puter TM
Kathy died for a reason.
kit’s birth was a mistake.
the two never could co-exist.
the truth is, Kat killed Kathy.
the story goes like so..
everyone loved Kathy because she loves everyone.
she falls in love, she falls out of love.
she gets hurt, she cries then she loves again.
she loved all her friends and always wanted them to smile.
Kathy became a toy to all her friends.
she listened to all of them.
got into trouble for them and she still loved them.
Kat’s birth was a mistake in the first place.
one that never should have taken place.
a deceit. a lie. a despicable lie.
but this mistake had a purpose in life.
she hated all that had to do with love.
Kat perceived love to a weakening factor.
something which takes away someone's will.
love deprives one the strength and determination.
that was what Kat perceived love to be.
that was why Kat hated Kathy.
Kat thought Kathy was weak. she did.
Kathy was always crying about love.
worrying about love. being happy about love.
happy about something that was going to make her cry.
Kat thought Kathy was stupid. she did.
falling in and out of love. day in day out.
always in search of something that will break her.
one fine day, Kathy fell in love. deeply in love.
she was happy for quite awhile.
Kat thought she'd give up the chase and let Kathy settle down.
so Kat left. feeling some what dissatisfied. she doesn’t know why.
Kat left miserable. because she has lost her direction. she did.
now that Kathy was settled, Kat gave up.
another fine day Kathy jus had to fall. she did.
Kathy fell out of love. seriously broken.
Kathy cried and broke. she did.
she was so weak she could hardly stand.
she cried so much she could hardly breathe.
she was so tired she could hardly sleep.
Kat didn’t leave Kathy to settle only to see her get hurt again.
Kat got angry. she got very angry.
why did Kathy have to have a heartbreak?
it made life difficult for herself. it did.
Kat couldn’t stand weaklings so she despise Kathy.
so much that it caused a rage within her.
so much that it burns her black when she sees Kathy.
so much anger did she have for Kathy. she did.
storm brew within Kat. a war broke out too.
she got so confused she was infuriated.
Kat was infuriated beyond imagination.
glasses smashed with burning rage.
arson bleached and engulfed Kat’s mind.
she cannot distinguish right from wrong.
Kat fled to a wilted Kathy. she did.
not a moment to lose. Kathy was dead in a matter of seconds.
she lay in a pool of blood. Kathy did.
Kat’s hand was stained with Kathy’s blood.
all over. Kat sat down pondering and smiling.
it was all over. Kathy was dead. no more tears.
hahaha. an evil crackle rang in Kat’s head.
I’m in control. Kathy is dead. she died for a reason.
a reason only she and Kat knew.
a secret which only the two of them knew.
a shared past now that Kathy is dead.
now that Kathy is dead, Kat will be Kathy.
Kat is Kat, but she will take Kathy’s place.
Kat will take Kathy’s place with her own twist.
Kathy died for a reason which only Kat knows,
Kat’s birth was a mistake which only Kathy understands.
do you?
Prof.Khad.MBBS.PhD.
University of PsychoSadisticism.
Gorham City
Copyright of Cat-Puter TM
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