wassup big A!!
i am so into anime right now. especially INUYASHA. the cartoon is so hip and funk man.. you should watch it yourself. ARTS CENTRAL: 2330. I know it's a lil late for children so not for me. YEAH! The anime series rocks like hell. aLL in favour say ANIME! haha. i own a VCD series but it's not complete yet. cos im still looking for "MARS" the VCD series starring ZaiZai & Da S of Meteor Garden. Anyone with info on where i can get them.. pls pls pls email me: khadradcliffe@hotmail.com subject: MARS FOR KHAD. like that. other than that life has me smiling always these days and i'm loving it. back to school soon and im fanatical about it. wahaha. anyways.. remember if anyone reads this and knows where i can get MARS the VCD not CHOCOLATE.. email me. i'm searching always. i guess im smiling becos of mark. nice guy. perfect qualities. he's a god. a goofy one thou.
Loving Inuyasha & Kagome,
ZaiZai & Da S
Forever...
oh yeah.. and mark too
khad
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
hello world
hello world. guess who's back?
sorrie for not blogging in for a long time. things have been super crazy for me right now and i dont have any explanation for it. well mark has been in contact. which is the only great thing in my life right now. everything else is peachy. friends are olright. family is going haywire and i am going nuts. maybe i am nuts. hahaha. i miss mark like crazy. mark if u are reading.. hi baby! missed ya voice and well.. i missed you. [muacks]. hello dublin! happy christmas to you. jingle into a blessed 2005 mark. be happy always. any way back to singapore, the weather is a havoc here, one minute rainy..the other sunny..just like my moods. i got my mobile back. my computer's crashed! damn thing olways screws up whenever i needed it the most. im at school now. with ain. ET and CATWOMAN visits NYP for A Festive Greeting. okay..im into INUYASHA these days. it's a cartoon. japanese anime. it's cool granny has yet to coem back from holiday. i miss her alot.. i have no one to disturb when she's no around. love her...miss her.. i went shopping with my parents this week and i m so dead beat..so is my wallet.. it's $0.00 in my wallet right now. talk about broke. well..monay is not the problem right now.. nothing is. so im quite happy..im stress free.. i miss mark...miss mark and oh yah i olmost forgot... I MISS MARK A KELLY!!!!!
Prof. Khad. MBBS. PhD In Bitchiology
SHE'S BACK!
University Of Gotham Cats.
sorrie for not blogging in for a long time. things have been super crazy for me right now and i dont have any explanation for it. well mark has been in contact. which is the only great thing in my life right now. everything else is peachy. friends are olright. family is going haywire and i am going nuts. maybe i am nuts. hahaha. i miss mark like crazy. mark if u are reading.. hi baby! missed ya voice and well.. i missed you. [muacks]. hello dublin! happy christmas to you. jingle into a blessed 2005 mark. be happy always. any way back to singapore, the weather is a havoc here, one minute rainy..the other sunny..just like my moods. i got my mobile back. my computer's crashed! damn thing olways screws up whenever i needed it the most. im at school now. with ain. ET and CATWOMAN visits NYP for A Festive Greeting. okay..im into INUYASHA these days. it's a cartoon. japanese anime. it's cool granny has yet to coem back from holiday. i miss her alot.. i have no one to disturb when she's no around. love her...miss her.. i went shopping with my parents this week and i m so dead beat..so is my wallet.. it's $0.00 in my wallet right now. talk about broke. well..monay is not the problem right now.. nothing is. so im quite happy..im stress free.. i miss mark...miss mark and oh yah i olmost forgot... I MISS MARK A KELLY!!!!!
Prof. Khad. MBBS. PhD In Bitchiology
SHE'S BACK!
University Of Gotham Cats.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
<>
i have no idea what i'm living for!
u see sometimes i think and i wonder about what the hell im doing on earth. i cry for no reason sometimes. i know it's stupid. well maybe im stupid. i dunno. at times im happy and the next moment im burying my head in my hands and weeping my eyes out. perhaps im going crazy. or maybe im olredy crazy. *sighz* i cant seem to keep track of anything right now and i know i am happier on my own but it's just that i'm not used to be on my own. what happened to the old me? what happened to good ol' bitchy khad? im a damn good actress and this is my play. everyone else is my puppet. if everything was alright, i'd be happy. then again, i dont know what im not happy about in the first place. serious? tell me about it. i jus wanna sit down and just talk to myself but im not able to do that you know why? becos everybody thinks khad/kat is happy. thinks that kat/khad doesnt care. that im strong and that i can do it on my own. well YOU ARE SO DEAD WRONG! im the weakest person you can ever meet. it's just an act this bravery. inside actually im very weak. VERY WEAK. i cry alot. im miserable. but i dont want anyone to know. if u think you know me...YOU ARE SO WRONG. SO WRONG. there isnt a person on this face of the earth that i have been honest to about how i feel and what i'm thinking of. NO ONE. Not as long as you are human or breathing or alive. NOPE.
u see sometimes i think and i wonder about what the hell im doing on earth. i cry for no reason sometimes. i know it's stupid. well maybe im stupid. i dunno. at times im happy and the next moment im burying my head in my hands and weeping my eyes out. perhaps im going crazy. or maybe im olredy crazy. *sighz* i cant seem to keep track of anything right now and i know i am happier on my own but it's just that i'm not used to be on my own. what happened to the old me? what happened to good ol' bitchy khad? im a damn good actress and this is my play. everyone else is my puppet. if everything was alright, i'd be happy. then again, i dont know what im not happy about in the first place. serious? tell me about it. i jus wanna sit down and just talk to myself but im not able to do that you know why? becos everybody thinks khad/kat is happy. thinks that kat/khad doesnt care. that im strong and that i can do it on my own. well YOU ARE SO DEAD WRONG! im the weakest person you can ever meet. it's just an act this bravery. inside actually im very weak. VERY WEAK. i cry alot. im miserable. but i dont want anyone to know. if u think you know me...YOU ARE SO WRONG. SO WRONG. there isnt a person on this face of the earth that i have been honest to about how i feel and what i'm thinking of. NO ONE. Not as long as you are human or breathing or alive. NOPE.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Life's confusion led KAT to killed KATHY.
Kathy died for a reason.
kit’s birth was a mistake.
the two never could co-exist.
the truth is, Kat killed Kathy.
the story goes like so..
everyone loved Kathy because she loves everyone.
she falls in love, she falls out of love.
she gets hurt, she cries then she loves again.
she loved all her friends and always wanted them to smile.
Kathy became a toy to all her friends.
she listened to all of them.
got into trouble for them and she still loved them.
Kat’s birth was a mistake in the first place.
one that never should have taken place.
a deceit. a lie. a despicable lie.
but this mistake had a purpose in life.
she hated all that had to do with love.
Kat perceived love to a weakening factor.
something which takes away someone's will.
love deprives one the strength and determination.
that was what Kat perceived love to be.
that was why Kat hated Kathy.
Kat thought Kathy was weak. she did.
Kathy was always crying about love.
worrying about love. being happy about love.
happy about something that was going to make her cry.
Kat thought Kathy was stupid. she did.
falling in and out of love. day in day out.
always in search of something that will break her.
one fine day, Kathy fell in love. deeply in love.
she was happy for quite awhile.
Kat thought she'd give up the chase and let Kathy settle down.
so Kat left. feeling some what dissatisfied. she doesn’t know why.
Kat left miserable. because she has lost her direction. she did.
now that Kathy was settled, Kat gave up.
another fine day Kathy jus had to fall. she did.
Kathy fell out of love. seriously broken.
Kathy cried and broke. she did.
she was so weak she could hardly stand.
she cried so much she could hardly breathe.
she was so tired she could hardly sleep.
Kat didn’t leave Kathy to settle only to see her get hurt again.
Kat got angry. she got very angry.
why did Kathy have to have a heartbreak?
it made life difficult for herself. it did.
Kat couldn’t stand weaklings so she despise Kathy.
so much that it caused a rage within her.
so much that it burns her black when she sees Kathy.
so much anger did she have for Kathy. she did.
storm brew within Kat. a war broke out too.
she got so confused she was infuriated.
Kat was infuriated beyond imagination.
glasses smashed with burning rage.
arson bleached and engulfed Kat’s mind.
she cannot distinguish right from wrong.
Kat fled to a wilted Kathy. she did.
not a moment to lose. Kathy was dead in a matter of seconds.
she lay in a pool of blood. Kathy did.
Kat’s hand was stained with Kathy’s blood.
all over. Kat sat down pondering and smiling.
it was all over. Kathy was dead. no more tears.
hahaha. an evil crackle rang in Kat’s head.
I’m in control. Kathy is dead. she died for a reason.
a reason only she and Kat knew.
a secret which only the two of them knew.
a shared past now that Kathy is dead.
now that Kathy is dead, Kat will be Kathy.
Kat is Kat, but she will take Kathy’s place.
Kat will take Kathy’s place with her own twist.
Kathy died for a reason which only Kat knows,
Kat’s birth was a mistake which only Kathy understands.
do you?
Prof.Khad.MBBS.PhD.
University of PsychoSadisticism.
Gorham City
Copyright of Cat-Puter TM
Kathy died for a reason.
kit’s birth was a mistake.
the two never could co-exist.
the truth is, Kat killed Kathy.
the story goes like so..
everyone loved Kathy because she loves everyone.
she falls in love, she falls out of love.
she gets hurt, she cries then she loves again.
she loved all her friends and always wanted them to smile.
Kathy became a toy to all her friends.
she listened to all of them.
got into trouble for them and she still loved them.
Kat’s birth was a mistake in the first place.
one that never should have taken place.
a deceit. a lie. a despicable lie.
but this mistake had a purpose in life.
she hated all that had to do with love.
Kat perceived love to a weakening factor.
something which takes away someone's will.
love deprives one the strength and determination.
that was what Kat perceived love to be.
that was why Kat hated Kathy.
Kat thought Kathy was weak. she did.
Kathy was always crying about love.
worrying about love. being happy about love.
happy about something that was going to make her cry.
Kat thought Kathy was stupid. she did.
falling in and out of love. day in day out.
always in search of something that will break her.
one fine day, Kathy fell in love. deeply in love.
she was happy for quite awhile.
Kat thought she'd give up the chase and let Kathy settle down.
so Kat left. feeling some what dissatisfied. she doesn’t know why.
Kat left miserable. because she has lost her direction. she did.
now that Kathy was settled, Kat gave up.
another fine day Kathy jus had to fall. she did.
Kathy fell out of love. seriously broken.
Kathy cried and broke. she did.
she was so weak she could hardly stand.
she cried so much she could hardly breathe.
she was so tired she could hardly sleep.
Kat didn’t leave Kathy to settle only to see her get hurt again.
Kat got angry. she got very angry.
why did Kathy have to have a heartbreak?
it made life difficult for herself. it did.
Kat couldn’t stand weaklings so she despise Kathy.
so much that it caused a rage within her.
so much that it burns her black when she sees Kathy.
so much anger did she have for Kathy. she did.
storm brew within Kat. a war broke out too.
she got so confused she was infuriated.
Kat was infuriated beyond imagination.
glasses smashed with burning rage.
arson bleached and engulfed Kat’s mind.
she cannot distinguish right from wrong.
Kat fled to a wilted Kathy. she did.
not a moment to lose. Kathy was dead in a matter of seconds.
she lay in a pool of blood. Kathy did.
Kat’s hand was stained with Kathy’s blood.
all over. Kat sat down pondering and smiling.
it was all over. Kathy was dead. no more tears.
hahaha. an evil crackle rang in Kat’s head.
I’m in control. Kathy is dead. she died for a reason.
a reason only she and Kat knew.
a secret which only the two of them knew.
a shared past now that Kathy is dead.
now that Kathy is dead, Kat will be Kathy.
Kat is Kat, but she will take Kathy’s place.
Kat will take Kathy’s place with her own twist.
Kathy died for a reason which only Kat knows,
Kat’s birth was a mistake which only Kathy understands.
do you?
Prof.Khad.MBBS.PhD.
University of PsychoSadisticism.
Gorham City
Copyright of Cat-Puter TM
Monday, November 01, 2004
Sunday, October 31, 2004
<>
you left, again and there is absolutely nothing i can can do.
but to stare at night skies and wonder.
wonder is this is the end for us. the end of us.
day by day we drift further apart.far apart.
you keep running off, i keep running after.after you.
it's cold , painful and lonely without you.very cold.
like all life has been taken away.there is no point.
why cant we be like before?loving and loved.
have you found another?or are you tired of me?
this time i wont cry.my resilience will take me thru.
i'll run thru sonatra like i did.like i did before.
sonatra cannot stop me from living.neither can you.
kathy died for a reason. kat's birth was a mistake.
nevertheless i dont regret.not in my vocabulary.
i'll overcome everything that stands between us.everything.
even anyone, even sonatra, even time. even you
time has taken sonatra into it's clutches.tightly.
sonatra embraces me.i try running away.
trapped in a world, not mine but none.different world.
everything is blank.everything is spinning so fast.
i lost.lost control of myself, lost control of you.lost you.
you are spinning away from me.drifting away like before.
like always.i'll run in circles after you.i always do.
life wasnt a symbol of light until you came.
you shone like a star and twinkled like a diamond.
now i losy that star, gone is that diamond.
lost all, lost you, lost again, lost in sonatra.
but to stare at night skies and wonder.
wonder is this is the end for us. the end of us.
day by day we drift further apart.far apart.
you keep running off, i keep running after.after you.
it's cold , painful and lonely without you.very cold.
like all life has been taken away.there is no point.
why cant we be like before?loving and loved.
have you found another?or are you tired of me?
this time i wont cry.my resilience will take me thru.
i'll run thru sonatra like i did.like i did before.
sonatra cannot stop me from living.neither can you.
kathy died for a reason. kat's birth was a mistake.
nevertheless i dont regret.not in my vocabulary.
i'll overcome everything that stands between us.everything.
even anyone, even sonatra, even time. even you
time has taken sonatra into it's clutches.tightly.
sonatra embraces me.i try running away.
trapped in a world, not mine but none.different world.
everything is blank.everything is spinning so fast.
i lost.lost control of myself, lost control of you.lost you.
you are spinning away from me.drifting away like before.
like always.i'll run in circles after you.i always do.
life wasnt a symbol of light until you came.
you shone like a star and twinkled like a diamond.
now i losy that star, gone is that diamond.
lost all, lost you, lost again, lost in sonatra.
"sonatra creeps thru like a fog.engulfing me in my own fears, drowning me in my own tears."
Monday, October 25, 2004
exams & computers
hello..finally able to enter new posts online again...but guess what? I just formatted my stupid computer! it was running to slow with jams here and there.. i had to do it..it's ok now but my PICTURES are GONE!! gone with the wind.. was studying 1033 jus now.. more to cover then i tot.. i havent even started on 1027.. but i will..lol.. ok see ya soon
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
<>
Stupid tuesday is here. im in the computer lab with stupid jason on my left. lessons are over and im going home soon. tot i'd drop by and fill in my blog. so here it goes. we had sociology 1st then clinical lab session.. damn..i owe a stupid person a treat at swenson.. well anyway.. he deserved it. anyway..im like super disgusted. dun ask me who.. u should know.. im not going to say..i dont want to get in to trouble right now...ok? anyway.. i changed my blog templates and song..YEah!! Finally..been trying to upload the bloody song since forever..! Thank god! anyway.. fasting for almost a week now.. so far so good. if it wasnt been for that stupid person...i would have a perfect fast...WITHOUT VULGARITIES!!!! really...some pple are just URGH i dunno wad!! hey hey hey i heard this frm dr param.. he said.. pple who fast..live longer life!! thank god.. i knew VIRGINS dun die early!! hehehe! Justice league is officially up..haha..i know it sounds stupid but we do have a couple of stupid pple in it..so it makes sense..anyway.. i gtg kill pple now..so..Tata..
Adios Amigo!
Adios Amigo!
Friday, October 08, 2004
Fridayz..Like Never Before
This has got to be the worst friday i have ever experienced. First of all. i beagn my day with sociology presentation. lessons end at 1900 today, the lessons are all boring, i m sleepy, i wanna go home...does it look good or what?NOT!! Urgh! it's disgusting. i have never hated friday like this before! it's horrid! it's despicable!!! ITS DETESTABLE~!!!
there is no way this day could get any worse could it? well well well...school is damn boring. thank god there's food and friends[most of them]. the presentation went well..fido wasnt ard..diarrhoea...lol maybe ila pinched a lil too hard...he started to auscaltate everything out thru his ass.. anyway..get well soon.
" The enemy of my enemy is my friend."
" The enemy of my enemy is my friend."
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Moonlight Sonatra Speaks
an empty space, an empty mind.
you get scared, terrified u panic.
fear embraces you, choking you.
defensive, you run.
you keep running, as fast as you can.
scared you run, as fast as your legs could carry you.
you cry you run into an empty space,
with absolutely nowhere to go.
with no idea what you are running from
into an empty space you wander.
everywhere bland and white.
everything is dead, everything except you
but then u realize, that you are the only thing there.
you dont even know where you are
why you ended up where you are
how you even got there.
then you remember it all
the same sorrow, misery and foreboding torture
enveloping you once agin, tightenning your mind and soul
the heart cramps, wrenched into a wadded paper.
you stand still, you freeze.
you stood still whilst the world spun.
the world spinning madly against you
what did u ever do wrong? what have u done?
u are so confused, dazed and dizzy
the world was spinning wild
faster than you could ever imagine
faster than anything else
everyinch of you was tearing apart.
death seems such a delightful option.
you start running, faster than ever before,
you faster into the bland white space
no shadows, no reflection, no water, no food
jus white, white, white light and you
you cry tears flowing without a reason
without sorrows, without misery of any known, you cry.
you dont understand anything at all.
what am i running from?
where am i running to?
whay am i running away?
how much longer can i run?
unanswered and stil running. from nothing
bland white, you sweat in panic, your body weakens.
you run still not knowing how much longer can you last.
cry, run, for your survival. but against what?
you cry for help, but there's none but you.
you scream, lungs at the verge of explosion.
you scream, in silence. heard by none. bcos there is none. not even you shadows
the pain was horrid but you still kept going
pain was excruciating. never ending
you remember your mistakes, the pain you've caused.
the pple u've hurt and used.
the hearts you have broken, the people you have wronged.
greater pain as you recall. be it if u die
you hoped they'd forgive you. you understand their cries.
their fears, misery, torture, misfortune.
you wished you could have helped.
sonatra in the moonlight, you wished no one else would have to go thru
the pain you are feeling right now.
never. because it is too cruel for any man to take.
everything dims, you awake, scared.Never.
you get scared, terrified u panic.
fear embraces you, choking you.
defensive, you run.
you keep running, as fast as you can.
scared you run, as fast as your legs could carry you.
you cry you run into an empty space,
with absolutely nowhere to go.
with no idea what you are running from
into an empty space you wander.
everywhere bland and white.
everything is dead, everything except you
but then u realize, that you are the only thing there.
you dont even know where you are
why you ended up where you are
how you even got there.
then you remember it all
the same sorrow, misery and foreboding torture
enveloping you once agin, tightenning your mind and soul
the heart cramps, wrenched into a wadded paper.
you stand still, you freeze.
you stood still whilst the world spun.
the world spinning madly against you
what did u ever do wrong? what have u done?
u are so confused, dazed and dizzy
the world was spinning wild
faster than you could ever imagine
faster than anything else
everyinch of you was tearing apart.
death seems such a delightful option.
you start running, faster than ever before,
you faster into the bland white space
no shadows, no reflection, no water, no food
jus white, white, white light and you
you cry tears flowing without a reason
without sorrows, without misery of any known, you cry.
you dont understand anything at all.
what am i running from?
where am i running to?
whay am i running away?
how much longer can i run?
unanswered and stil running. from nothing
bland white, you sweat in panic, your body weakens.
you run still not knowing how much longer can you last.
cry, run, for your survival. but against what?
you cry for help, but there's none but you.
you scream, lungs at the verge of explosion.
you scream, in silence. heard by none. bcos there is none. not even you shadows
the pain was horrid but you still kept going
pain was excruciating. never ending
you remember your mistakes, the pain you've caused.
the pple u've hurt and used.
the hearts you have broken, the people you have wronged.
greater pain as you recall. be it if u die
you hoped they'd forgive you. you understand their cries.
their fears, misery, torture, misfortune.
you wished you could have helped.
sonatra in the moonlight, you wished no one else would have to go thru
the pain you are feeling right now.
never. because it is too cruel for any man to take.
everything dims, you awake, scared.Never.
Monday, September 27, 2004
..:::Today in Life Of Khadiology:::..
I really dun have anything to wory about now. Now that I know you are happy, I won't interfere. I won't come in your way. I won't hang around. It's not possible, it never was. I wonder why I even bothered in the first place.. Don't worry, I won't cry, because I don't have any tears left to spare. I won't fear because I'm so strong.
You leave, that's fine with me. but don't ever come back. Don't you dare! Don't, because I don't want to hate you, I don't. Just leave quietly and make your presence unknown. I'll forgo everything that we shared, everything that we had. Don't ask me why and don't ask me how come. It's just the way it is ok? Just the way it is.
You don't do the asking of questions here because I have no answers for them. You don't ask me why I did it because you don't have the right to, not anymore. Never you mind how I will carry on. Never you mind if or not I will be ok. Never you mind all that. Never you mind. If I have to break myself, to find the peace to carry on, I will, I can handle it. I don't need you to be my strength, not anymore. Not anymore! You hear me?!
You don't have to stay arount to make sure that I'm alright. You don't have to. I didn't lose anything. Because I cannot lose something that isn't mine in the first place. It's funny how I really feel..neither sad nor angry. Not even disappointed. How come? I was looking forward to be happy, I never was until now. Until now..
It isn't worth wondering who will win now, because I already have, I always do. This, I have told you before. I Won. I'm not just comforting myself. I never had to. Never had.
You leave, that's fine with me. but don't ever come back. Don't you dare! Don't, because I don't want to hate you, I don't. Just leave quietly and make your presence unknown. I'll forgo everything that we shared, everything that we had. Don't ask me why and don't ask me how come. It's just the way it is ok? Just the way it is.
You don't do the asking of questions here because I have no answers for them. You don't ask me why I did it because you don't have the right to, not anymore. Never you mind how I will carry on. Never you mind if or not I will be ok. Never you mind all that. Never you mind. If I have to break myself, to find the peace to carry on, I will, I can handle it. I don't need you to be my strength, not anymore. Not anymore! You hear me?!
You don't have to stay arount to make sure that I'm alright. You don't have to. I didn't lose anything. Because I cannot lose something that isn't mine in the first place. It's funny how I really feel..neither sad nor angry. Not even disappointed. How come? I was looking forward to be happy, I never was until now. Until now..
It isn't worth wondering who will win now, because I already have, I always do. This, I have told you before. I Won. I'm not just comforting myself. I never had to. Never had.
"Leave From My Sight. Go Away. Leave me..and NEVER come back."
"Because I Don't Wish To Hate You, I Don't..So Just Go..Just Go"
..::[Khad]::..
Prof Khad.MBBS.
PhD In Bitchiology
University Of Gotham City
Thursday, August 26, 2004
::Morning Blast::
Smilez..
sun is shining at last. Light has entered my life finally. Make me smile and brightened my day..so much happiness i am scared. Could the greatest sorrows be nearby? Do I deserve this happiness that i am feeling?but i never want to be sad again...Someone help. but even when i am expressing these worries, i am smiling..bcos i am happy..So much light has shone that i think can never frown again. never be broken again...but thats not possible is it? I'll always break, im im lucky, into two.. anywaysz...I'll just enjoy this moment, bcos For A Moment Like This, I've Gone thru Pain and Horror. TataZ~
sun is shining at last. Light has entered my life finally. Make me smile and brightened my day..so much happiness i am scared. Could the greatest sorrows be nearby? Do I deserve this happiness that i am feeling?but i never want to be sad again...Someone help. but even when i am expressing these worries, i am smiling..bcos i am happy..So much light has shone that i think can never frown again. never be broken again...but thats not possible is it? I'll always break, im im lucky, into two.. anywaysz...I'll just enjoy this moment, bcos For A Moment Like This, I've Gone thru Pain and Horror. TataZ~
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
::Happily::
I am so damned happy today!!
- I passed my clinical assessment: "Thanks Ms Kamala Devi"
- I have this really nice necklace and hu it was from? Malia! Thanx Gurl.
- I have cut classes[no tutorial today]
- I have no school tmr cos i've done my assessment today..Lalala.
- I'm going to the BBQ next tuesday..Haha
A hatrick. Scored THREE in ONE day. Anyway, school was so fun today.I just found out that someone was gone yesterday. My concolensces..Ok! Listen up you people. Those Who Hate ME.. Loathe Me, Despise ME..Ive only got one thing to say to you about that!
"Kill Me?HELL...I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!!"
Love & Loved.
Khad
Monday, August 23, 2004
.:::Khadiology Speaks Out The Truth:::.
Sadity has gone by me,
Leaving me with nothing but
Lust, pain & misery..
.::Bitchiology::.
The Only thing that is stopping me
from killing me, is YOU.
Your death will mean mine.
Every second longer you live is
Me walking on a Bed Of Nettles,
Each step more painful than the last..
.:::Khadiology::.
[My Immortal Is Going Under]
Leaving me with nothing but
Lust, pain & misery..
.::Bitchiology::.
The Only thing that is stopping me
from killing me, is YOU.
Your death will mean mine.
Every second longer you live is
Me walking on a Bed Of Nettles,
Each step more painful than the last..
.:::Khadiology::.
[My Immortal Is Going Under]
::..::Love Is Such Wonder::..::
Love is a many splendour. Whoever said that had to die a happy man. Bcos love doesnt work that way anymore. You love, you break, you cry, you fall.. Never again.
The heart tears and shatters, time is taken to heal the wounds, the eyes get swollen, the heart keeps aching, the soul is searching.
And when all else fails, you turn to suicide. The end of all things, including your life. Nothing seems to be worth living anymore. No one seems to be worth living for. All hope has died, all dreams have shattered, all else has failed. Why should you go on? You have to. You cant live without him, you cant die without being loved by him. Your soul is tortured. Screaming, tearing itself apart..
So close yet so far. Reachable, but never there.
So RAGE burns..The heart is as stoned as ICE. You move never wanting to love again. You say I will never. You grow stronger and colder everyday. The world is spinning at your command and will stop as you wish it will. You rule the entire universe with your anger and conquer every battle there is with love.
You dont wish to get hurt again. So you shut out everyone from your heart. None will you love, none will you hold dear. What has the world gone to, you say. Loving! Is that all they can think of?
Then you see the beauty of love, nature and earth. How the world revolves around with it. The universe spins at the willpower of love. One you can never match. A power and force you cannot match. You never can. You realize that this retaliation will not get you far, but u still fight.
A war has broken in yourself. Once again, the heart is torn apart not by him, but by love instead. Just Solely Love. A WAR!! Every batlle won, is every Wound found. You cannot do anything about it.
You dont have the power, because the wise once said..
"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR"
Saturday, August 21, 2004
::AfterMath::
Hello..17 and 1 day..
Feels happy..feel refresh.dunno wad to say..currently talking to Jason on the phone..hang up olredy..anyway..yesterday was a blast..frens came to NYP and had a lil lunch together. JUst Jas, Kumar & Me..Malia was not feeling well lah dei...thts y she wasnt there. My frens gave me some really cool stuff..Sally gave some really expensive stuff.. then shikin gave me this really cool small..wallet card..nenek brought me a new discman, gramps bought a snowbeanie whale..an Oral B giggling toothbrush and a jewelery box. asmah gave me a winnie the pooh baby doll and a small piglet keychain. VERY CUTE...CT, my sweetest, gave me a perfume bottle... HOW VERY SWEET OF THEM... i was so happy i almost felt guilty.. i miss achik very much yesterday night...i cried..because her children did exactly what she did. They nve forgot..they were there..i felt her there with me..she was around smiling with me.. i had to kiss her children..i love them with all my heart as well as my grampies of course..love them to death.. will never break them..
LOvE yOu GuYs LoadS YahZ..ThaNx TO aLL ThT has MaDe My BdAe YsTeRdaE..
Khad.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Happy BarfDae To Me
hello finally 17, finally 20 Aug 2004..
Hahaha..anyway, im at home, very with the rest of the world. He did not even..never mind. Here are barfdae wishes:
Hahaha..anyway, im at home, very with the rest of the world. He did not even..never mind. Here are barfdae wishes:
- To Be Happy All The Time.
- To See My Family, healthy, happy and quarrel free.
- All to be happy and united.
- No more fights, no more blurs.
- School to be enjoyable and fun always.
- My cat just typed b & v on the com
- Haha..I wish to stay this happy..
- Secret wish: To have just one chance to see HER just one more time..Even in my dreams..to hold her and just see her. I miss her a lot.. SO i wanna see her just one more time..Just once.Even in my dreams would be ok... Miss you achik. wish youwere here. It feelsn so bad without you..
- Then i want to have world peace!! PEACE OUT!!
Thursday, August 19, 2004
:: Contented With Life ::
hello there sweet babey,
school was excellent today..how can it not be..with pple like ain, adnan, warric, sally, pei fen, nicholas, shikin, ila, jasmine..and of course my sweet darlin abang, JaWorm[Racheal Jason Chua] how can i not be contented with life. tmr's the big day. nothign fancy just a simple lalala and heyheyhey.. thats all..no lah..was just thinking of family celebration tmr and i hope i can do a lil twist to the family..2nd barfdae without my beloved achik.. it has been a blast living with her.. now she's gone..i'll always miss her but i'll miss her the most when it is my birthday or hers. in fact in any happy moments..she'll be there.. i noe it..watching over me.. i noe she is.. just that i dun see her..[most of the time]....so c'est la vie..that's life.. u love them..then u lose them... it's like that..you can never have something or someone u love for long...so happy moments come and go..
*KhaD*
school was excellent today..how can it not be..with pple like ain, adnan, warric, sally, pei fen, nicholas, shikin, ila, jasmine..and of course my sweet darlin abang, JaWorm[Racheal Jason Chua] how can i not be contented with life. tmr's the big day. nothign fancy just a simple lalala and heyheyhey.. thats all..no lah..was just thinking of family celebration tmr and i hope i can do a lil twist to the family..2nd barfdae without my beloved achik.. it has been a blast living with her.. now she's gone..i'll always miss her but i'll miss her the most when it is my birthday or hers. in fact in any happy moments..she'll be there.. i noe it..watching over me.. i noe she is.. just that i dun see her..[most of the time]....so c'est la vie..that's life.. u love them..then u lose them... it's like that..you can never have something or someone u love for long...so happy moments come and go..
*KhaD*
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