Wednesday, November 10, 2004

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i have no idea what i'm living for!
u see sometimes i think and i wonder about what the hell im doing on earth. i cry for no reason sometimes. i know it's stupid. well maybe im stupid. i dunno. at times im happy and the next moment im burying my head in my hands and weeping my eyes out. perhaps im going crazy. or maybe im olredy crazy. *sighz* i cant seem to keep track of anything right now and i know i am happier on my own but it's just that i'm not used to be on my own. what happened to the old me? what happened to good ol' bitchy khad? im a damn good actress and this is my play. everyone else is my puppet. if everything was alright, i'd be happy. then again, i dont know what im not happy about in the first place. serious? tell me about it. i jus wanna sit down and just talk to myself but im not able to do that you know why? becos everybody thinks khad/kat is happy. thinks that kat/khad doesnt care. that im strong and that i can do it on my own. well YOU ARE SO DEAD WRONG! im the weakest person you can ever meet. it's just an act this bravery. inside actually im very weak. VERY WEAK. i cry alot. im miserable. but i dont want anyone to know. if u think you know me...YOU ARE SO WRONG. SO WRONG. there isnt a person on this face of the earth that i have been honest to about how i feel and what i'm thinking of. NO ONE. Not as long as you are human or breathing or alive. NOPE.

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