Lady Brereton Takes Regency

hello world. take your bow, khad has fallen in love, assured that she is loved and life couldnt be more wonderful than this. this is all possible bcos of a certain Lord Brereton, (aka JWW) whose eyes habours a tenderness that has to be protected at all costs. so i have taken control over the regency and have taken this as my lifelong mission to protect that GEM of a man. to return that loving tenderness that he has decided to show to me. a bit annoying at times but i'd rather a man get on my nerves, peaks my temper then tries so hard to appease me. it is adorable. i will in turn care for u my love, with all my heart, now and always, forever and ever. wifey's promise. ;) so stay with me, never leave for i would be left bereft, heartbroken, by myself to grieve.





i swear to you, not a day that passes by that he does not tell me that he loves me dear world. i am happy and honoured that he does. maybe im one of those girls who derives their security from those simple words. i am a simple girl, intricate yet the simplest things, i find are the things that brings the most pleasure. ask urselves, a card handmade, doesnt cost much, but when given on a bday, is treasured bcos it says "i remember you" everybody wants to be someone's somebody that he/she remembers.




so thats it world, remember someone and tell them "hey, hi.. havent heard from you, how are u doing?" life is much more pleasanter that way.. till i write again my friends, i miss you and will be seeing u soon if it so. stay with me until then, believe me i am thinking of u as days go.

you have no idea how much i love u baby, everytime i look into ur eyes, there is a special tenderness in it that makes me want to protect that precious gift. James, you make me happy, but u cud make me even happier if only u'd allow me to protect that special tenderness so that it is not lost. let me protect you, let me protect your heart darling. i love you.

misery takes over while distance takes control

i have never loved like this. u feel permanent. we feel permanent and right. there is nothing that can describe this lovely emotion that i feel. u make it all possible and i am aware that should you ever decide to take away that gift, i would shatter and break into a million pieces. please baby, i know we love each other. so much. but this damnable distance is taking it's toll. so come back to me baby, have mercy on our aching hearts and come back to me soon.

oh how my heartb breaks..

time spent away from you seems like a never-ending torture to me. everyday i miss you, everyday im loving you more and more. i dont believe that there is one other person in this world that id rather be with than u, none other id rather be with than you. i knew i loved you before i met you.. i think id miss you even if we never met.

au revoir cherie, till our next kiss, till i get to hold you again..

So happy together....

all the times we've been together my love, never once have you made me feel unloved, or un-cherished. you made me so happy baby. you make me so. i love you so much baby. i do. when i said yes, i mean it baby. because the longer i am with you, the more i am convinced i am that i want to be with you for the rest of my life and you are the man that will make me happy, protect me and love me for the rest of my life. i would do the same for you james, if it means that i get to be with you forever...it breaks my heart that we have to be apart.. it does.
make me happy baby, come back for me. i love you baby. we promised that we'd be strong and i will be. for u, for us. khad will try he damnest to be with you, james, she promised u that. everyday i love you more and more, listen to my heart can u hear it say, i love you, until the end.... of.. time.. come what may. i will love you.. until my dying day. i always will.

james & khad

in love... in love..

see what James sent me!!

(WORLD's BESTEST BOYFRIEND!!)

what do nursing students do when they are bored?

they doodle their boyfriend's name on their bodies of course!!
then write sweet messages on their calves...

Introducing...

NYP Yr 3 Siti Khadijah Binte Ismail

SGH- Department Of EmergencyMedicine (PRCP)

Dangerous Passions

Sweet-smiling images keeps the world going, keeps my heart beating..

You're all that i need to live my days. A magnificent love story unfolds..

"You cannot learn to love until you've learnt what it is like to lose."

and so thus he makes me happy this mortal of a man, makes me smile and believe in tomorrow, think of the future, trust in love and risk it all but at the end of the day, coming home to where serenity, peace, tranquility embraces me... to where he is. to where my james is..

To... James William Ward

I just recall this wondrous instant:

You have arrived before my face

A vision, fleeting in a distance,

A spirit of the pure grace.

In pine of sorrow unfair,

In worldly harassment and noise

I dreamed of your beloved air

And heard your quiet, gentle voice.

Years passed. The tempests' rebel senders

Have scattered this delightful dream,

And I forgot this sound tender

And how heavenly you seemed.

In gloomy dark of isolation,

My days were gradually moved,

Without faith and inspiration,

Without tears, life, and love.

My soul awoke with decision:

And you again came as a blest,

Like an enchanting fleeting vision,

A spirit of the pure grace.

My heart beats on in resurrection

It has again for what to strive:

Divinity and inspiration,

Life, tears, and eternal love.

- Aleksandr Pushkin

LIVE! From UK & Singapore

yep that's right! live from UK & SG.. we went live on msn actually. i was so happy. we were so happy. aint that right? lol. anyway.. budding roses. they look so beautiful was up till late last night and today up early bcos mom & dad's gone out of town. apparently gran's sister ha d fall and broke her arm. innalillah. may allah let her heal soon. i coulnt go cos well.. the tickets. and its much better if i didnt. my regards and well wishes are always with her.

this is pretty isnt it? yes what a pretty picture we make. hahaha. now & always. i have a long distance love but i know he's meant for me cos he was sent from up above. i long for his arms to hold me tight, hold me close to tell me everything's going to be alright. i'm blessed to have him in my life, maybe blessed enough he'll take me for his wife. when we age, togther, when i grow old, his hand is the one i want to hold. for better or worse, till death do us part, i love u sweet baby, i love u with all my heart..
school. ended. told u that. no mood to study.. paper on monday. i'll do revision today. (some) anyway.. i passed HS 3077!! Yay! that's one module down.. 2 more to go love! hehehe.. not going anywhere stupid schedule is still not out yet! till later..

Khad

ps: you and me. now and always.

Now & Always

this is james william ward. hubba hubba hubbie. lol.

okay so 14 March eh? today is nasha's birthday! happie birthday nasha!! anyway.. i went back to school with asmah today.. yep! we infiltrated the security of NYP.. well she did. im still a student of NYP. studied there for about 4 hours and then we made a move to go to hougang mall.. ate at long john silver's... the seafood combo. yummy! with cheese sauce and black pepper dippings. went back to gramp's place... i had to send her home didnt i? we had fun.. went to take Print Club stickers again.. the stupid machine went too fast! i didnt even have enough time to go and draw on the pics properly =( but anyways.. luckily it turned out great.. thank heavens!

came back.. headed straight for the shower... and made my brother relinquish his command of MY fortress..the computer. my source of interaction, love and most of all, to meet my darling. *sighz* hahahaha.. anyway.. im chatting with him right now.. so cant write in too long in here. i miss him. lol.. love u. now & always.

take care. au revoir.

PS: learning to save for something important. (our RINGS!)






Khad WW

i surrender..

hey dilemma solved and im a happier person now. it's all over and it's all begun. school's almost over and i'm ambivalent about it. slad the hard parts over but im gonna miss my friends and stuff. so yeah.. that's over. i have a test this thursday and im only half way thru studying. oh yeah.. james is coming in end march.. hopefully. =)

thursday is also my ica for sociology. so kill 2 birds in one day or i can take it as.. die 2 deaths in one day. =( anyway.. i'll make myself make it thru. i will. i'll do longer hours of revision tmr.. i will...



For JWW
u make my life complete the moment u came into it.
before, i'd live life day by day, telling myself that one day,
maybe one day there'd be a person who'd love me as much as i love him.
one day i'd find a man who'd mean what he say.
then came those long lonely nights that i spend alone
thinking and wondering if what i wanted was a mere fantasy..
for i could have never been so wrong, never so suprised,
to have met you. you who made my fantasy a reality.
dont let me down baby i cud never heal
dont leave me sweetheart, never tell me it's not real.
dont hurt me by saying u and i cud never be..
dont shatter me darling, by throwing back my love at me.
u shower me with endearments, and said i love you countless of times
wait a second baby, im trying to find something that rhymes. (LOL)
u care not if im ugly, fat or plain, i appreciate it so i dont feel so vain.
this period of time passes and together our bond grew..
till that special friendship evolved and turned into something new..
that special feeling that is embraced only by a few..
that special feeling that makes me confess, makes me say "Baby, I love you."

"Come What May"

Valentine's Dilemma

what is one to do when you are struck by cupid's arrow twice? the first hasnt been removed and you're down by another.. man am i in a fix or what? tell me man.. but all in all im happy. but remorsely filled with guilt. cried myself to sleep.. talking to yself. been going on for weeks now.. i think im depressed.....
NAH!!! Just Kidding! HAHA. did u really think i'd be that kind to step my legs in 2 boats at one time. i'm a 1 man woman. loyal and jealous. lol. so.. I love you baby! but i need to be clear of what is it that you want with me. if u want it to be US, then tell.. not only tell me... show me. love without proper encouragement, not everyone has that kind of security in themselves to hang on to a thread as thin as that baby. just remember that aside all that make-up covered beauty.. im still a woman with a real heart, with real feelings. im asking you to look aside all that teasing, sharp wit and words to know that i can get hurt too. i have strength but there is only so much before i break and block myself away, again. the barrier erected then would be far higher than ever. not even u can breach it again.. hold to your promises like i do. then if u cannot, dont make them. you cannot lose something you never had.

But other than that, life has been very sweet and sensational. i like it. i love it. star gazing.. alone. it is the most wonderfulthing to do since chocolate. imagine that. i really got to clear my head.. and thought straight. hehe. i never wanted to be so confused, i never wanted to be this brain-addled. im no bimbo.. im no ainstein either. lol... so im asking for a chance to prove myself. give me that chance.

Khad.

WEE~ Khad goes LIVE on messenger!

wow i love technology. free phone conversations.. endless hours!! haha.. a little laggy when we first started but who am i to complain? Comtesse Khad is elated! god bless! well.. im so happy i can hardly contain it!! i need to kiss something. wait~ ok back. i just kissed Choco.. my cat. the lil pussy jumped up when i caught him. HAHA.. no pun intended. oh well.. classes at 1000 today and dunno if i will go.. so maybe just drop by at 1200.. meetings start then i suppose. so much work.. so little time. hahaha.

okay then. gtg

Au revoir!

KHAD

back!!

haha! hello world wide web. im back~ haha.
okay here's the deal. i have completed all my attachments. only left with PRCP. that'd be soon. im quite contented with school stuff right now. new semester. new friends. Ross. haha. very cute. anyway.. i've been online most of the time. the novelty hasnt worn off i guess. it's good i guess. i get to chat with uhm.. more often than not. so im quite happy. by the way.. nth.
im kinda subdued these days. Malliga says i dont seem myself.. apparently my eyes tells a story. maybe so.. she has no idea how close she is to the truth. but everyone has their own secrets and thus i have mine. i will not endeavour to display my weaknesses for the whole world to use at their advantage.
i wont be made into a joke. not now. not ever. not anymore. enough is enough.
a barrier. an erect barrier between me and everyone else. if i dont love. i dont hurt. simple as that.
but that does not mean im not happy. i smile. i mean my smiles.. maybe it doesnt reach my eyes. Malliga's quite good at this. i'd have to be more wary from now on.
lol.
okay then till then.
Au Revoir!


Khad

this is my final goodbye.
we're taking a split. i'm setting u free. it pains me that i have to but it is so.
i no longer love anyone but you but you had to turn away. i hope you know
that no matter how much u think i'm going to hate you, i'm telling u u're wrong.
even if u shatter me into a million pieces. I'll always love you.
Now and always.
i pray that u stay happy and blessed with all good things in the world. I haven't got
anything worthy to give u to make u stay, if u think the love i have for you is unworthy
of your keep then i'm afraid i really have nth else to offer. But i'll always be here for you,
I'll always love you.
Now and always.
i've always known. i've always felt that you were perfect, this i've told you. i also believe
that you know i think you a king. one that rules over me, night and day, in wake and in
dreams, in light and in darkness. you're here, you're there. loving u is as natural as breathing air.
go now, i know u want to leave so i shant keep. i cant possess something that isnt mine. i cannot
lose something i never had. my only defence is that i love you.
Now and always.
But tell me goodbye and let me cry. let me cry, let me hurt because i'll heal. just dont leave and
not let me know. let me be hurt,because it'll just hurt, no matter how bad, rather than u leave me worried, angry and disappointed. my only salvation is that i love you.
Now and always.

So this is my final good bye if u want it to be. u must think i'm crazy, u must think me mad.
but i have told you and i told u the truth when i told you i love you.
Now and always.


Khad

salaciously devilish

dia dhuit. khad here. of course.

let me tell you a story of young love so fine it would take years before someone like you would be able to comprehend what it is about. there couldnt have been another love more deeper and finer than what they have. Distance had separated the two but it never hindered their feelings for each other. She more than anything else in the world wished she could spend everyday next to the love of her life. Him on the other hand cherish her like a pagaan princess to be worshipped. in a way, they both loved each other. deeply. then came the misery for every time a man soars so high embraced by happiness, he is bound to fall. this time harder than shattering into a million pieces. they could not understand why it was so. they fought. from that distance, they never felt closer towards each other than this time, now. She gave him her, He gave her him. It was more or less, a blissful union admist the vast and complicated issues that surrounds them. She spend her days thinking about him, her nights dreaming about him. Everything around her was a reminder of how much she loved him. Everything, from the green of the trees that reminded her of his country to the blues of the skies that reminded her of his eyes. Every turn, every blink, she could only see him and him alone.

*well.. i have to go. this story does not end here, definitely, its closing farther than u can imagine for we have only begun in its first chapter.

Khad

こんにちは

~聖隷クリストファー大学~

the students of Seirei Christopher University, college of nursing came to Singapore, Nanyang Polytechnic for this week and i get to play host. The xchange student who was with me is called Kano Shoko. I call her Shoko-chan. (*see pic) Very sweet girl. Speaks little english but believe it or not, we spent the wee hours of the morning chatting. (conversing in 日本語- Japanese) 0_0 cool na? we slept at 0200hrs.

woohoo~ it was fun Sunday evening, we- dad, me & peifen, fetched them from the airport. Peifen's fren was called Tomoyo( Tomo-chan- sweet girl. big eyes) we went back home, intro to family memebers, went out for dinner. then to padang, supreme court. off to get a bite, we then head for St Andrews cathedral, then to esplanade, the merlion and finally... Fullerton hotel. didn't stay there, just along boat quay to snap many- many pictures. :) it was a terrific idea for Peifen and myself to pair up and go out together, else we never would have survived. not that they were horrid but bcos of the language barrier.

Monday morning it was off to school. went to eat prata with her. Oishii!! おいしい! (^,^) after classes we met and together with PF, we went to Bishan, take Neoprints -PuriKura! 興味深い表面 then to Swensens to eat EARTHQUAKE!! 地震アイスクリーム! went to popular book store then bought the paper stars. me & Shoko-chan made the stars together and i put it in a small jar for her to bring home to Japan.

Tuesday off to school again and evening we went to Orchard's S11 for dinner.

that's it. :p

Khad.

in school. will make this short. hs 3032: aggression is going well. glad. home life, good. love life, messy good. inner self, content. health, fit as pancakes. school life, ambivalent. happiness percentage 97%. study motivation 65%. naughty horns, 78%. sexual drive, 90%. that's stats. short to say...

"Khad Is happy"

Masquerade

hello NYP! back back. Lovely long weekend couldn't have a more perfect ending. i called Johnny last night. perfect. totally. reliving all the sweet seductive memories of high school! couldn't be more perfect. what more to wake up to a steamy monday morning. *if you know what i mean! (hint*hint*) anyway let me fill you in about weekend.
wednesday: slacked at home and danced till my feet were sore and it was Singapore's Birthday! Happy B*dae SNG!! the national day parade was a grandeur, of course like every year, i cried when the national anthem was played. sang my heart out. i dunno call it patriotism or momentary insanity but i felt it in my roots and cores of me soul.
thursday: went havock with more dancing and laughter. went to the library with lil Asmah @ AMK. borrowed so many Historical romances. then slacked at home with VCDs, movies and DVDs galore.
friday: went out with the one and only Malia. My other quarter. initially, we planned on going to BUGIS to shop but Malia, being the late waker, we ended up meeting at 1400 and had to settle for little india instead. but it was fun though, as usual, we shopped. we laughed, making a fool out of us-selves. then as hungry as lion, we grabbed a cup of mashed potato before heading down to Hougang Mall (familiar terrritory) and ate at LJS. Then we shopped some more for a couple of accessories. again more fun. of course, what trip with Malia is complete if it we didn't take print stickers at the print club. we had bought shades and decided to model for them. We looked gorgeous. totally unsurprising. (*,*) the pics turned out so nice, it was a shame tat it was small. she went o my house. i gave her a haircut. Malia looked so adorable! hahaha. okay you can say it. *Khad you're a genius. [tell me something i don't know (-_-***)] haha. shameless. that's for friday. happening?
saturday: beautiful. i went to town. don't worry i haven't lost my mind. i went to admire the fireworks. it was gorgeous. i stayed in my red hot car. havent been contaminted. dont worry. :D
it was super di duper exilihirating! wonderful. stunned into silence. it was also the day i told dad about Mark. i tot he was going to kill me or feed me to the sharks but dad was totally understanding. he said okay and gave the greens for the Go-Ahead. He thinks Mark is good looking too. Who wouldn't? Yeah. I showed him Mark's pic. at first he said we should hold the news from mom but he ended up telling her instead. but she was cool with it too. this is the first time i have talked to my parents about a.. man. becos i really like Mark, wait, i really love him. glad i took kak yana's advice and told them. now i have nothing to hide. guess what dad said? he told me to bring Mark HOME when he comes here. !!(0_O)!! yeah i know.
sunday: mom found out about Mark. she thinks he has pretty eyes that is honest. she guessed him a pretty secretive person too. see baby? i told ya ;) . lol.
Monday: TODAY!! text Mark in the morning. :p *wagging tongues, fanning my bottom. back in school. loving it. great start to the week. driving lessons this wed. good luck to me. no more drifting!!

location paradise

hello there. back in school. i love week 17. by far the most relaxing week of all. compared to the rest of the weeks, which have been pure murder to go thru. projects, papers and practicals. believe it.. i've only attended school for 2 days this week and i have a long holiday coming up. from tomorrow onwards. ;D that's rite! i'm all smiles right now. feel as though i did something good been granted this luxury.
confessions: i felt almost rotten this week. i guess i know. i do know why. i've written why in my book diary. yes.. as much as i share, i still keep a part of me hidden from the rest of the world. something too deep that i don't want other people to know. i'm pretty sure we all have secrets we wanna keep. so i have mine. nothing close to being unfaithful, nothing close to that. just rotten and hurt. pretty hurt. that's it. i spent my time reading historical romances to soothe and nurse my aching heart. guess it's the place where i feel most lost and just floating around looking at the characters live their romance gives me a sense of completion and hope that love is not all myth and as painful as i was led to believe.
share: huge laugh last saturday. Rudy got married...again. at 23 and married twice. some people have all the luck. i have to wait years before i get to see Mark. :( anyway, we kicked up a storm there in the bus. it was so much, thanks to a huge part, ME, KAK ASHA & KAK YANA. if kak shidah was there, it would have been a bigger uproar i swear it. :D
i still love Mark.

Khad.