hey hey. is it that easy to recite i love you to anyone without meaning it? or has the phrase been used and heard too frequently that it no longer bears any meaning?it would seem so. i've only heard in songs and stories on how it's expressed and about how fine and demure LOVE is.

How fragile it is. how affections run thru deep in its veins and the emotions it carries with it. But that's fiction. will it ever be reality? my guess is as much as yours, too manyt imes has it been abused, shamefully by yours truly herself. but i do not know the meaning too. haven't got the chance to feel it really. true i have my family and friends. but u know wat i mean.
once i tot i had, now it seems like it's gone. really close that one time i too buy too good to be true.
it ended before it even started. it costed a lot as well, my nights and dollars, knowing every single moment and cent was worth it. I'm not glad it's gone, dont even know if it really is.you were gone for so long while i'm stuck frozen in time left with nothing but wondering thoughts about where you are, what you're doing, how come u havent call, how come u could bear not letting me hear your voice( by the way it's killing me not being able to hear ur husky breaths at my ears), or at least let me knoe that you're alive. Just wanna know.

been asked how come the distance hasn't swayed my distinctive glow of happiness and perkiness in my walk and speech. how come the oceans and separation doesn't seem to have made me appear sullen and moody, angered and unaffected. Should I have shown? to make myself feel better and then hate you? could i ever? i asked myself that question everyday.
what do i do? cry in silence, tremble in darkness i guess. you often spoke of the kisses we couldn't have, cuddles and warmth we couldn't share. i'm not crazy. i'm not fazed. i'm in complete control of myself and i'm sound. or so it seems. i'm not psychotic. i'm not drunk. don't like leaving things hanging unanswered.

i write in words hoping you would read. send it in thoughts hoping you'd hear. if u decide that we'd walk in different dirrections, let it be ultimately that we walk in opposite directions.

i'm sorry if i sound clingy, if i sound foolish, hell, it took me living guts to have it here. swallowed pride and ego to tell you so now your turn. tell me you're living, you're happy. tell me you're well cos tat'll make me happy. Just tell me something. i'll be damned if i have to go thru life not knowing. tell me sweetheart. tell me, love. something. anything.